Living the Reality and Learning to Love it

It was a lovely day and the year was probably 2004. I was sitting in the balcony of my home and watching the sun set as I did my homework. I looked at the drawing of the plant cell that I had drawn and thought to myself as I colored it ‘This is so pretty. I am so happy right now.’

But, back then, what I didn’t know was- Life was going to change and everything that I treasured so much would be stripped away from me; and I would not have the power to stop it.

There was a storm last year in my city; the trees got uprooted and it was utter chaos everywhere for a week after the storm had dissipated. We got through, somehow, after living under the candlelight for three whole days!

What me and my family had gone through together is something that is so… difficult to explain when I think about it now. I don’t remember most of my childhood or what it was like when all of us gathered together to watch a movie together in the living room.

I do remember one thing though, that my mom and dad had a volatile relationship. And they still do. Being the youngest in my family, I was naive for the longest period of time. I knew what was happening, but what I didn’t realize was that it would affect me into my adult life, my thoughts, my views on marriages and relationships, as I became a woman.

There was a girl in my last job who wanted to be a model but ended up being an engineer! I used to look at her and- she was very pretty by the way- I used to wonder what made her change her mind. I asked her one day, bluntly, even though we weren’t close, the reason why was she working as an engineer and not a model. I still believe she didn’t give me an honest reply. This was her reply back then- ‘My sister told me that the modelling industry isn’t good, so I changed my mind.‘ But I just knew that her family got in the way of her dreams, just like mine did.

There is a playlist in my YouTube channel that I had created solely for the purpose of motivating me. It has a list of upbeat songs, the kind of songs that change my mood during days when I feel like I’m hanging by a thread to life. There are a few things in my life- like my dogs, my art, things I write, whenever I hear guitar strings in a song, learning to swim some day- that I consider pieces of the puzzle which make up my life.

Many pieces are yet to be found and when I do find them, I honestly believe that, in the end, I am not going to regret any of what I have done; because the final picture, even if it ends up being incomplete, I will know that I had lived a journey like no other, a unique one that nobody else has probably lived, and that’s what makes me a wonderful and a happy person today!

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