Focus: Sometimes it’s the only thing you need

Imagine there is a well in your backyard. It’s a very deep and dark well, and whenever you look inside it, you cannot see the bottom of it. The well is not functional anymore, and your family has asked you to stay away from it. But, one fine day you decide to put your curiosity to rest and sneak into the well by lowering yourself by sitting inside a bucket! And as you go deeper and deeper, the light starts to fade and the darkness from beneath starts growing on all sides, making it difficult to see what you are getting yourself into.

Then, the unthinkable happens. The rope lowering the bucket snaps. You start free-falling with the bucket. There is no light anymore, only darkness above and beneath you, on all sides. ‘Did you think you were Alice or something? That, after ‘overcome’ with curiosity, you would just go down, into the ‘dark-well-of-curiosity’, and expect to see a door to another land?’ You start regretting what you just did. Your only friend now is hope. You ‘hope’ that you will not die and by some miracle you’ll be alive when you hit the hard bottom.

But, the bottom is nowhere in sight. The fall doesn’t end. A minute passes. Five minutes pass. Then, you realize that you’ve been falling for some time. You guess that an hour has passed since the rope snapped. But still, you haven’t hit the bottom yet. You think that any minute now you’re going to hear your own bones crack and your body scatter in different directions. But, that doesn’t happen. Instead something else happens.

Two years pass. And there is no sign of anything yet. Time has stopped for you. You don’t know anything anymore. You just know the fact that gravity is pulling you towards the grave, and you are prepared for whatever, whenever it happens. You’ve lost all your senses. Hell, you don’t even know how or why you’re alive anymore. But, you are. And still. Falling. Down. Into the black. Towards the future gifted to you by your own curious mind. You have no escape. Everything is real. And you know that it’s not a dream.

Along the journey towards the bottom-less well, though your surroundings are utter darkness and nothing more, your conscious mind doesn’t give up. The memories of your past life, and what you believed and still believe in, and what you want for your future flash in your head. Giving up now meant giving up on everything you had wanted for years since you were a little kid. It was not an option. You try to take a chance.

So, as you fall, you make plans. You do everything in your power to believe the outcome is going to be different from what you knew it was going to be. The plans in your tiny brain are all you have at that point in time. And you couldn’t let yourself take the easy way out. The chain around your neck belonged to your mother. But, you let it go. Because you knew- the longer it stayed, the more tempted you would become…to do it. To leave.

Insanity was your enemy. You let it take over at times but you let sanity win every time. You stay. And hope stays with you. But, something else is threatening to take over you. You are growing tired of falling. And your plans are failing. You have one last thing on your mind. One last plan. One final thing to say. To every dark matter surrounding you. You are no longer intimidated by it, only strengthened. Once you had thought it was over, but now you believe it’s only the beginning.

You decide to do it. You decide to start a battle. And you decide to fight to the end no matter the outcome. You fall. But you fight. And you keep your mind focused on the one thing that matters the most even though everybody above, your family and friends, had given up on you a long time ago. You breathe. You close your eyes.

You utter the words, ‘It’s going to be okay.’

And when you said those words, it pretty much felt like you just said ‘Abracadabra!’. Because, when you opened your eyes again, it was no longer dark around you. Your light was shining from within you. And you didn’t know that you had it in you. You were still falling. But you weren’t falling down. You were falling towards the very place you had come into the well. You just knew that because you could see everything clearly. You fought. And because you did, you won.

 

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